bleeding love

Hi. Back to December again and it almost reaches the end of december.. anywayyy.. It has been a long timeeee that I have no post any craps here. Oh well, let me tell you everything that have stuck in my mind for such a long long time. Exams… have passed already. The results were such an unthinkable letdown for me. I’ve studied hard. I have woke up at 3am, and read all those shits then my stomach cramping like hell everytime when I woke up. For good, I sleep again. Lol. And I forgot to study HAHAHA. when I received the result and see it, my heart broke into pieces lol and I can’t say anything. But I keep pretending that I was ok, laughing at my marks, when the fact is I’M NOT and I’M JUST DYING INSIDE. But I know this is my own mistake. Why I don’t want to study, why I think little of it, why I keep telling myself that I can do it, why I want to depend on others, why I think that it was just such an easy lesson, no need to study, I will get the easy-cheating teacher. Sigh…. REGRET. So another thing to tell you is, idk why I love to be a loner now. I don’t have any mood to talk to others, or maybe this is just my stupid feeling?

anyway, don’t you ever think about your future? Hah! This is the biggest stressful thingy in my mind now. Everyday I’m keep thinking about this. I have no idea about my future. I even don’t have any goals in my life. Which direction I have to choose? it will be too bad if I have a goal in my life from others’ incitements. December wasn’t good at all.  but i keep on struggling to survive in this clueless life! Okay then, is it too early for 2013’s wish lists? because i wanted to put your name at the top of my list :)

HAVE AN EARLY-BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVERYONE  ☃